Ch. 3, Pt. 2: Solidarity with the Atheist
(This chapter was adapted from my writing in the time of crisis. If the “voice” sounds a little more antagonistic or aggressive, that’s why. Thanks for continuing to pilgrimage with me!)
Have you read Part 1?
Did you know there’s a field of research called Neurotheology? It takes what we know of Psychology and Neurology to study what happens in the human brain during spiritual experiences.
Similar to studies on hypnosis, research has shown that certain types of people are more “suggestible” toward mystical experiences or interpretations than others. And other types are less (as measured by the Tellegen Absorption Scale):
less emotionally responsive, less prone to being absorbed by feelings or fantasy, and generally disconnected from sensory and imaginative experiences (all of these things describe me).
I learned about this from anthropologist T.M. Luhrmann in her book When God Talks Back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God.
Based on findings like this, how can I NOT be suspicious of the supposedly supernatural? How can I know it’s more than just a trick of my (or your) very powerful brain?
Discoveries of wild psychological phenomena like the placebo effect, confirmation bias, and groupthink make it clear that our brains are capable of seeing what they want to see or being convinced of what’s not exactly true (to serve social-survival purposes).
And if the mind is the place one meets God, we must admit that God is known through a deeply unreliable, human filter!
Even if I have a mystical experience, how can I trust it to be “real”?!?
Asked another way: Did God create my brain, or is my brain the one creating God?!
. . .
“I can’t understand how some people don’t believe in God!”
…said countless people throughout my life: in reference to a sky full of stars, the Grand Canyon, the birth of a baby.
I was always inexplicably annoyed at this flippant statement. I’ve never said it myself because I’ve never been able to say it with conviction! It’s just not that simple or obvious to my brain.
I actually CAN understand how some people don’t believe in God. I don’t think they’re all arrogant or hard-hearted, angry, bitter, or deceived by the devil — as some might infer with their shaming language.
Maybe their upbringing did not require a shared set of religious beliefs...or, it did, and they opted out because It didn’t feel true to their experience
Maybe they came into the world with a disposition toward disbelief (skepticism) and did not find a good enough reason to suffer cognitive dissonance to pretend otherwise
Maybe their intellectual integrity wouldn’t let them believe what appeared to be wishful thinking, fantasy, or lacking sufficient evidence (evaluating the God-claim the same as any other - e.g. Bigfoot)
Maybe they found that the sciences provide compelling explanations about origins and human development (more compelling than arguments for Creator)
Maybe they found purpose and meaning without spirituality
Any of these reasons (and if you have more, send them my way!) are understandable — respectable even — so why can’t we show more understanding? More respect?
After all, we’ve seen Christendom’s long-held views on scientific matters unravel time and again (e.g. earth at the center of the universe, the age of the earth, etc.). Religious powers* have acted in abusive ways and been forces of violence in our world for thousands of years…can we blame anyone for being cynical or distrusting?
*Worth noting that spirituality isn’t limited to oppressive religiosity.
Not to mention that science has come such a long way in understanding how and why things take place on our planet! We now know about photosynthesis, the water cycle, DNA – concepts ancient people could not have begun to fathom, that they attributed to the gods! We’ve discovered micro-bacteria and black holes! We have sent human beings to the moon and back! We created the internet, for goodness sake!
Do we still need God?
Science doesn’t HAVE to exclude God — that’s not what I’m getting at. Science and faith certainly CAN be compatible (as Dr. Francis Collins, one of the world’s leading geneticists, has exemplified throughout his impressive career).
But, my point is: science doesn’t necessarily require or reveal God. Nor is the appreciation of the natural world reserved for or owned by spiritual people. My atheist, agnostic, and secular humanist friends are some of the most reverent, appreciative of nature, and conscious of humanity’s impact on the earth, of anyone I know!
PSA: Lack of belief in a “higher power” does not ruin the experience of life, love, or the awe of living on a very complex planet filled with beautiful things!
Taking a position contrary to what is socially expected does have its consequences, though. Owning your disbelief (or changing beliefs) and being vocal about it might mean:
being stigmatized as less trustworthy, moral, or legitimate than the next person
experiencing personal and/or professional discrimination
losing respect or credibility in the eyes of the people you care about most
parents and friends fretting over the state of your soul (possibly harassing you about it)
many concerned, corrective conversations (hoping to fix you with some Bible verses)
being added to prayer lists, but ostracized from connection and community
being written off with distancing terminology like: “unbeliever,” “lost,” “prodigal,” “heretic,” “blasphemer,” “backslider,” “deceived,” “of the world,” or “off the deep end” (maybe you’ve thought of me/my writing in one of these ways…?)
These are just a few ways that facing the reality of your own disbelief or changing beliefs — especially publicly — is disincentivized (if you have more examples to add, let me know!).
. . .
In the midst of crisis, I kept peeling back layers of my fears (the above list included) — incrementally peaking ahead. The more open, the less fearful, I became…the more honest I could be. But the harder the questions got too.
No longer just: does God exist? But: why do I want or need him to?
Yeah, I wanted God to be there. There is comfort in not being alone in my head — in trusting in something or someone “beyond,” who understands. I wanted there to be some transcendent purpose to Life. I WANTED there to be “more,” and remained open-hearted to the possibility.
But I also had to acknowledge that wanting to believe something doesn’t make it real and reckon with the burden of proof. When I faced my experience of the world without my religious conditioning, I didn’t see, hear, or feel the signs of anything beyond the “natural.” My most practical self did not expect a supernatural presence or intervention.
I was not trying to be arrogant or self-sufficient, but brave and truthful to the deepest depth.
What did that make me?
Unbeliever? lost? prodigal? heretic? blasphemer? backslider? deceived? of the world? off the deep end? Was I “too smart for my own good”? Had I stopped trusting “in the Lord with all my heart” to lean on my own understanding? Had I lost or fallen away from my “salvation” somehow? Had I “given the devil a foothold” or sold my soul, accidentally? lol
I didn’t like the stigma around any of these associations. I didn’t want to get trapped as an everlasting prayer request. Hiding my doubts from the public eye promised to spare both me and my people this unpleasantness.
The social implications tempted me to stay “in line” and maintain the illusion of belief. They held the most sway (winning out over divine judgment because, as it turned out, I didn’t believe in The Angry God anymore.)
So, I negotiated terms. I weighed the benefits and the losses. I counted the cost. I wavered and wobbled, wondering which is worse: dishonesty or disbelief?
(I had already decided that fear of divine judgment is no reason to believe… but what about fear of humankind’s judgment?)
Peer pressure is no reason to believe either…is it?
